Elle Asks the Important Questions of Brian Williams

By Alex Weprin 

In a not-very-serious interview with Elle Magazine, “NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams addresses some of the, um, big issues of the day:

Elle: Let’s be honest about this. If you were single today and you walked into a bar, you’d be swimming in women.

BW: Aw, no, I don’t think so. I’m a haggard, weather-beaten 51-year-old man.

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Elle: Clooney’s almost 50! You think he allows that kind of thing to go through his head while he’s eating his morning toast?


BW: I’m a worn-out vessel, a shell of my former youthful self. I’ve given many good years to my trade, flying around the world to dangerous places.

Elle: Precisely. All you’d have to do is wear one of those khaki TV-anchor vests, and I guarantee you’d be fighting them off.

BW: No. Because you still need the courage to engage in conversation, which I never had. I would sooner-and often did-walk into a burning building than talk to a young woman in a bar.

The interview doesn’t get much more serious that that. Other topics include how Williams first met (or rather heard) his wife, and the effect that flat-front pants have on certain male body parts.

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