The American Academy of Free Giveaway (Bi)Weeklies

If it's true, as out-of-towners often say, that nobody in Los Angeles reads, we certainly have more things not to read than just about any other city. I'm talking about all those free community publications: The Hollywood Independent. The Beachwood Voice. The Santa Monica Mirror. I love those things. Especially when I need to wrap something fragile I just sold on eBay. But sometimes, these publications take themselves a bit too seriously. For instance, the LA Alternative Press has an 'Arts & Ideas' section. Here are the most recent articles, as listed in the table of contents. Are they about arts or ideas? I have no idea. (Sorry.) Conspicuous Consumption Impressive imbibing items sure to inspire a toast to the giver. Feeling Blue Over Red? Gifts to give the devasted[sic] Democrat in your life. Meanwhile, the relentlessly dippy NoHo->LA, has, after careful deliberation by the steering committee, changed its name to MetroLA. In a letter to the readers, the editor explains the theoretical underpinnings of this shift. An excerpt: And thus, after 6 1/2 years of publishing the only arts and culture free paper for Los Angeles, aptly named NoHoLA for the art communities it links, just as the underground train links these communities, the underground train which all great cities - Paris, London, and NYC - have operated for decades, we have changed the "operating" name to MetroLA. MetroLA is what we are really all about, anyway. We have linked the cultural communities across Los Angeles, which[sic] those in the Valley. I thought the communities NoHo->LA connected were bored people sitting around coffeeshops and horny old guys looking for an outcall masseuse. (Actually, Bored->Horny is not at all a bad name for a magazine. Sort of NYRB meets FHM.) Also, "only arts and culture free paper for Los Angeles"? Hmm. Maybe she means "only paper free of arts and culture." But even that's a stretch.

Fishbowl

The American Academy of Free Giveaway (Bi)Weeklies

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