STUDY: Abstaining from Alcohol Will Cause Premature Death

Yeah, that’s what I thought as well.

I began searching for “paid by the same cats that brought you Jack Daniels distillery,” but what I found was enough to make a hobo stand up and shout “Amen!”

This study was conducted by psychologist Charles Holahan of the University of Texas at Austin. While that sounds impressive, a clinical psychologist smoking a fru-fru pipe standing in his white jacket and smart inscription “Charles Holahan, M.D.” I used my hack-turned-flack journalist Spidey Sense to ascertain something that was rather fishy.

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