Wonkette’s Bizarre Politico Party Takedown

Is Wonkette writing while intoxicated these days?

Editor and Publisher Rebecca Schoenkopf wrote a post this week that was so strange and incomprehensible that we had to read it several times before we could completely make sense of what Rebecca was slurring trying to say.

Seems Ripped Rebecca attended a Politico party in Tampa and was thrown out for writing obnoxious tweets. An example: “At the Politico party. Right now on camera, four men, zero women. Is ANYBODY looking at the optics of this. VOMIT EMOTICON.” While she says it was the hashtags, we blame the bourbon.

A few observations: When the head honcho of a media outlet writes like this, you may want to put her in charge of making the office banana muffins and keep her away from writing. And if and when you’re sauced, Rebecca, for the love of journalism, put down the pen, lose your Smartphone and hide all the office keyboards.

She writes, “Apparently, we got kicked out of a Politico party for tweeting mean things? That is weird, right? Is that weird? Like, don’t put a hashtag in front of people and then expect them not to call you barfy? That is just how hashtags work!” Yes, like in a story with, like, the awkward, like, headline, “It Is Not that Hard to Get Thrown Out of a Politico Party Apparently,” Rebecca goes into a drunken Valley Girl party tirade of epic proportions that involves making out with a security guard (or no one, why should facts, details or comprehensible phrases matter?) and confusing Executive Editor Jim VandeHei for God knows who she says approached and made small talk with her because he was worried she was lonely.

Was Rebecca even at the party? Is Rebecca even Rebecca?

For her part, Rebecca says she was only a seven on the 1 to 10 drunken scale (10 being worst). “They were not forceful, I was probably a seven, and I was not drunk but was hungover when I wrote the post, as my new security guard boyfriend and I went on to the BuzzFeed party after that,” she wrote FishbowlDC when we inquired how forceful Politico was in tossing her out and how drunk she thinks she was. “Driving to Atlanta today so will be out of pocket. Yours, Becca.”

A sampling of the weirdness:

“And then Jim Vandehei (he’s the young one, right?) came over and was like YOU ARE FROM WONKET HELLO I AM SAYING HELLO TO YOU BECAUSE OF HOW YOU SAID YOU WERE LONELY BEFORE (oh, because we had tweeted that we were lonely before) and before we could really reply he had turned around and left and gone back to his friends and we had TURDED ALL UP IN THEIR PUNCH BOWL.

Then they had security throw us out, but joke’s on them, because we had already made out with him earlier, and he totally left and came with us, the end.”

Not only do Ripped Rebecca‘s tweets make no sense, but the post includes unfinished, confusing phrases that amount to a whole lot of nothing. The best of the worst: “Well, soon the producer, who was a tall, gorgeous blonde in a bitchen black sheath dress, came out to ask if we had noted that there were many female lady type people reporting from inside the convention center, and had we noted that, huh, huh?” Rebecca asks. “And we were like sure we guess maybe I don’t know, martini?”

Congratulations Wonkette, for putting your top brass out there. You may want to enroll her in a remedial writing course or stuff her into a closet in Charlotte and not let her within a five mile radius of the party scene. Shhh…we won’t tell.

We reached out to Politico for more details.

CLARIFICATION AND MORE DETAILS: FBDC sources have confirmed that Schoenkopf was not kicked out of the party as she claims. Sources on the scene witnessed her intoxication, the hub was closed, she simply had to leave as did anyone else in the permitted area. Further, VandeHei did approach and chat briefly with her about the content of her blogging. To be clear, she alleges making out with a security officer and not anyone at Politico. Whether that actually happened is anyone’s guess. Watch out Charlotte! Ripped Rebecca informs us that she will be on the scene.