Why Washingon D.C. Gossip Sucks

If you’re looking to get drunk and also have a snack, The Hill’s Judy Kurtz is here to help. In a story published yesterday, she tells us about some new and exciting cocktails that are debuting at a Capitol Hill restaurant, Art and Soul. They were created to celebrate eight swing states up for grabs in the coming presidential election.

For example, to commemorate Iowa, they are debuting the “Meat and Potato, an homage to Iowa that has house-oaked vodka and candied bacon.” That doesn’t sound too appealing. And they only get worse. You can also get the “Wisconsin’s Cheese Head, made with Death’s Door Gin, lemon juice, simple syrup and a shiraz floater, topped off with a cheddar cheese cube.” I love gin. I love cheddar cheese. Yet, I never want those two things in my mouth at the same time. They might call it “The Cheese Head,” but I call it “Your Rock Bottom.” Go get help.

Maybe the worst of the bunch is Ohio’s “Peanut Butter Buckeye, a mix of vodka and peanut butter syrup with a chocolate powder rim.” What a great way to tell the world, “I think I’d like a slice of pie while also getting a little drunk.” Here’s a tip from a professional drinker: If you make a cocktail that an 8-year-old might think sounds yummy, it probably isn’t.