Why Doesn’t MTV Play Videos Anymore? Because You’re Old.

Why did MTV replace our beloved music videos with trashy reality shows? It’s a pretty common complaint among people in their twenties and thirties–but is it really the music videos we miss, or is it our collective youth? Is this our way to behave like crotchety old people, waving our fingers in the faces of children and saying, “back in my day…”?

The makers of this video think so–and they led us to believe in the quarter-life crisis phenomenon until we realized that it’s already a few years too late for that! Oh, merciful Lord…In the video, a fictional MTV exec proceeds to “Break it down for everyone born before 1995 — aka not our F***ing demographic anymore.” Ouch! And the hits just keep on coming.

Below are our responses to key quotes from the video:

“That complaint is literally old enough to drive a car by now.” *Wince*

“Your generation–not the one before you, not the one after you, your generation–decided to steal music. And music videos are more worthless than ever before.” *Hanging heads in shame.*

“If we played music videos today, here’s what we’d be forced to play: Katy Perry, Owl City, Lady Gaga, Justin Beieber, Carly Rae Jepsen…and you’d complain that we don’t play enough Pavement, REM, and Nirvana.” *Shifting guiltily in our seats.*

“Admit it. You’re getting older and you’re afraid. Soon, you’ll be totally irrelevant to pop culture…Worst of all, your favorite artists will charge an arm and a leg for their comeback tour tickets and they’re gonna look really old on stage.” *Rocking back and forth in fetal position.*

Watch the spot again, but be warned — you may never feel young and hip ever, ever again.