What a Dick

Our favorite New York Post reporter, Mandy Stadtmiller, has been slumming in L.A. this week to cover the Comedy Central roast of William Shatner.

Instead of just filing a story, though, she became one when Andy Dick reportedly urinated in front of her, offered to lick her girl-parts and bit her hand. This followed a “licking spree,” in which Dick licked the faces of Farrah Fawcett, Carrie Fisher and Patton Oswalt.

On Mandy’s personal blog, she offers this transcription of her taped “interview” with Dick about why he licked everyone’s faces that night:

I was doing it because I was desperately trying to tie the show together like a fisherman with tuna, and you’re a little piece of fresh tuna, f—ing bring my net in, tie it all together, tie it together like a throughline, like I’ll lick you, I’ll lick him, I’ll lick her, I’ll lick him.

AW+

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