West Coast Transplants

Blame it on weird weather patterns, but apparently the fruits and nuts have started rolling East by the bushel. Adam Sternbergh writes in New York Magazine that the East Coast has been hit with an “infestation” of celebrities, such that New Yorkers are starting to turn into the kind of ridiculous fawning nobodies that Sternbergh claims we all are out here.

He says that New Yorkers were once terrifically cool around celebrities. That they knew better than to make a fuss over them or make themselves look ridiculous.

“There are signs, however, that our contract with celebrities is fraying. The first might be called the Heath Ledger Moment: when the Brokeback Mountain star and his partner, Michelle Williams, bought a house in the Brooklyn neighborhood of Boerum Hill. This news was greeted with both pride (they could have lived anywhere!) and dread (they’re taking over!). It was as though an alien species that had lived quietly among us, unremarked upon for eons, finally stood up and declared, ‘You know what? We like this planet. We think we’ll take it.’ And we knew we were powerless to stop them.”

This, of course, is ridiculous. One thing New Yorkers have never had a paucity of is tourists. So even if those self-important, black-wearing-nicotine-smoking denizens of Gotham did treat celebrities like dentists (which we doubt), their cousins from Idaho sure the hell didn’t. Maybe that’s what celebrities are realizing, too.

“And now comes the news that Ledger’s bought a $2.3 million modernist box shrouded by trees in Los Angeles, which means there’s even less chance of spotting him on Smith Street. (Not that you care.)”

Welcome home, Heath.