WaPo Car Columnist Plays Hooky for a Cutie

Warren Brown is the town badass.

Not only does he write a car column for WaPo called “On Wheels,” but he gets to impress his wife with really cool cars and then write about them for a living. Most recently, he got to test drive a Fiat 500 Sport subcompact hatchback and liked it so much that he took the day off and drove around the District and then took off to the Shenandoah Valley simply because he could. And because it was “beyond zippy” and “better than zoom.”

He even employs funny baby daddy metaphors in his writing and continuously refers to the car as “Cutie.” We know what you’re thinking. Is he crazy? Or, what, we have another sex scandal on our hands? Well, no, not either, yet. But that all depends on whether this yellow “Cutie” of a car turns out to be a tease. And even then we think Brown could survive the heartbreak.

He writes that the Fiat 500 Sport is a “love reminiscent of a long-ago heartthrob in New Orleans, during prom season in my senior year of high school, when a promised date with a Creole beauty was canceled … because she was pregnant … with some other boyfriend’s child.” He adds, “I want the Fiat 500 to succeed as badly as I wanted that date with the girl I’ll call Marguerite.”

But he’s worried — about Cutie’s cheap looking interior and a host of other hopefully minor details.

Read the story.

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