U.S. Postal Service to Launch Clothing Line

Today in No, We Don’t Mean the Band News: The U.S. Postal Service, currently suffering from something of a PR crisis, just announced plans to develop its own clothing line with menswear maker Wahconah Group.

Before you ask, this is not a joke–here’s the press release to prove it.

The apparel and accessories line, designed to be “on the cutting edge of functional fashion”, will be called “Rain, Heat and Snow” in honor of the unofficial USPS motto: “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stay these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.”

It won’t just be the usual shirts, hats and footwear–it will include “wearable technology” like jackets with built-in iPod controls so mailmen can more effectively ignore the outside world while on their usual routes, controlling the free flow of information.

The line will initially be just for men, though the USPS plans to expand into women’s wear soon. That’s not all: they’ve established a showroom in New York’s garment district to better promote their new products to the fashion industry with the ultimate goal of selling them in “department and specialty stores.”

USPS spokesman Roy Betts told Yahoo News that the project is all about “brand reputation, brand awareness”. We have a tagline in mind: “The Postal Service: We Deliver Fashion…Even on Saturdays.” No?

(We would comment on this fascinating article about how absurd demands from lawmakers, rather than poor performance, doomed the USPS. But that’s another thing entirely, isn’t it?)