Think Twitter Is Crap? Turn Anyone’s Tweets Into (Actual) Toilet Paper With Shitter

Well, this is new.

Have you ever wanted to turn your tweets into something that you could, literally and figuratively, wipe your ass with? For reals? Well, this is so your lucky day, because thanks to this (it has to be said) innovative product idea from new startup Shitter, you totally can. And it’s not just your own tweets that can be privy to this somewhat unsavoury experience – the Twitter musings of Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, Kim Kardashian, Kanye West and Mashable can now be your butt’s for the taking.

Yep – this is where society is, right now, circa 2012.

The concept is simplicity itself. Simply visit the website and connect your Twitter account, and then you can order four rolls of toilet paper displaying your tweets, timeline, favourites or any list you’ve created, or the public tweets of anyone you choose, all for $35.

That’s $7.50 per roll, but come on – this is the future. I mean, reading Twitter on the toilet, without your smartphone? Okay, so the tweets are always going to be a little out of date, but I have a pretty lousy memory.

To be honest, this strikes me as a can’t miss idea. Seriously. These guys are going to be loaded. The company’s genius tagline is “social media has never been so disposable”, and, let’s face it, you’d have to be potty to think otherwise. What I’m saying is: if you’re lucky enough to have stock, don’t dump it all now. The cash is going to pile in.

Shitter is the brainchild of David Gillespie, and is quickly making waves. Even Stocktwits co-founder and angel investor Howard Lindzon has already said he’d like to invest.

“Obviously this is fairly tongue in cheek, but we’re reasonably pleased we monetized Twitter in a way that avoided advertising,” says Gillespie. “I don’t know where the revenue is. It may very well wind up needing to be funded by brands when the right project comes along. I can’t imagine Kleenex having put their name to Shitter though!”

Are you kidding me? I bet they’re filling their pants as we speak.

If this takes off – and it so totally will – and assuming it isn’t all some early, elaborate April Fool’s joke (otherwise it’s going to be all over my face), I’d like to see some other options. It would be great to be able to choose a mixed bag of celebrity tweets, or pick users from a certain sector, and some variety in the choice of toilet paper would also be nice. Personally, I’m partial to quilted. Make it happen, boys, and you can have all of our money.