Twitter in 2011: The Year of Spam Accounts, Breaking News and Micro-Prayers

New Year’s Eve. A time for hope.  A time to start over.  A time to consume enough cups of good-cheer to make us wake up on New Years Day to a timeline of sloppy Tweets, telling our followers that we love them, …or hate them.  …or that we are IN love with them.

2010 was a wild ride in the world of celebrity Tweeting.  Jim Carrey frightened his followers by tweeting the word ‘BOING’ in every post – without an explanation (we are still waiting).  Kanye West went on a Twitter rampage in a rant against the Today Show for insulting him.  And 50 Cent made homophobic remarks that resulted in Perez Hilton fighting hate with hate by Tweeting, “50 Cent joking about violence towards gays is about as expired as the days when he used to be musically relevant!”.
Oh snap!  (crackle and pop)
But now we say, goodbye Tweets of 2010!
And bring on the wacky Tweets of 2011!

New Year’s Eve 2011 is going to be a big one on Twitter, folks.
If ‘Happy New Year’ is not trending on December 31, I promise to do 50,000 pushups every day for an entire year.  I am confident that the NYE Twitter party is going to trump all Trending topics.  Are you excited?
As of midnight December 22, “2011 Predictions” is already trending worldwide.  The Twitter-sphere is showering us with a collective forecast of the upcoming year.

“Snooki will eat the rest of the Jersey Shore cast in a drunken binge. And then, Sarah Palin will shoot her for sport.” writes a top Tweeter, rudely named @idsrspctwomen.

Based on observed trends, here are some of my predictions for Twitter in 2011:

6.  1 in 4 relationships will start on Twitter.  And half of those couples will create a joint account.  And we will all get the pleasure of rolling our eyes at their cringe-worthy lovey-dovey Tweets that make us all want to vomit on our keyboards.

5.  You will become frustrated with your friends when they tell you a story that exceeds 140 characters.  And you will keep your prayers at 140 characters as a courtesy gesture – to avoid wasting your god’s time.

4.  Every business in the world will discover the benefits of viral marketing.  And you will double in followers, thanks to fake accounts with gorgeous profile pictures.

3.  Twitter users will announce the passing of every celebrity, the results of every major sports game, and bizarre news stories before Facebook users won’t even know what hit them.  And Tweeters everywhere will announce these newsworthy events with smug looks on their faces.

2.  Every commercial, every sitcom, and every morning radio show will make a reference to Twitter in a joke.  And no one will laugh because it will be as overdone as scenes of old ladies referencing hip-hop culture, in juvenile comedy movies.

1.  Your parents will start following you on Twitter.  You thought you were safe.  You thought you’d keep the PG stuff on Facebook while being your true ‘R-Rated’ self on Twitter.  But, I am sorry.  Oprah Tweets.  Therefore, your parents will start Tweeting.  Where the heck are you supposed to hide, now?  …MySpace?  …as if.  (har har har)

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