Twilight Finale Generates Usual Array of Critic Objections

Here’s one of our favorite ways to use Rotten Tomatoes:

1) Click into the main page for a new movie;
2) Sort the amalgamated reviews by “Rotten” first;
3) Scroll and read what the “Top Critic”-rated journalists on the stink-side are saying.

Just about all of the Team Rotten reviewers admit that Breaking Dawn – Part 2 will greatly please the franchise’s hardcore fans. Still, critics in this group can’t help but also highlight some of the inherent problems:

Michael Phillips, Chicago Tribune:
“With so many scenes of well-dressed vampires sitting or standing, stiffly, while Taylor Lautner or Robert Pattinson or Kristen Stewart passes another micro-slab of dialogue like a kidney stone, Michael Sheen’s overacting’s greatly appreciated, thanks.”

Roger Ebert:
“The depiction of little Renesmee is rather curious… Her grandfather Charlie Swan (Billy Burke) observes, “My, how you’ve grown! You must be six inches taller!” And so she seems, although by my reckoning, it happened between Thanksgiving and Christmas. A human child like that, you take to see a specialist.”

Claudia Puig, USA TODAY:
“The Cullen clan cousins from nearby Alaska (the story takes place in Washington state) look disturbingly like they just came from an audition for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.”

Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle:
“If they’ve been alive for 800 years, why does every female vampire sound like a Valley Girl?”

Michael O’Sullivan, Washington Post:
“I’ll tell you one thing: You have never seen so much unrealistic decapitation in your life. After about the 20th head-popping, which flips off like the top of a soda bottle, it’s just ridiculous.”

FishbowlLA is still looking for the Part 2 Rotten review that mimics the all-question format of this week’s NYT slam of Guy Fieri’s Times Square restaurant. A media critic can dream, can’t they?

[Photo courtesy Summit Entertainment]