Totally Bizarre Holiday Party Memo

Welcome to the holiday party invitation of the season. WJLA’s Tim Traylor wrote the memo to Politico/WJLA/Allbritton staff. He not only uses the word “thy” (which is just weird) but he informs partygoers that if they have or see someone having “issues” or “in distress” there is help. English translation: If you get so sloshed that you make a pass at someone’s wife, cuss out your editor or barf, please reach out for help. Okay, maybe he’s trying to say friends don’t let friends drive drunk?

Seems we missed something – will Lindsay Lohan be there?

We’ve bolded the weirdest parts so you don’t have to work too hard. Read on. As Traylor said, enjoy the evening. And of course, email us!

I am pleased we are able to gather this coming Saturday evening and put aside the business of journalism and conduct business on the lighter side of life.  We will have many in attendance at the Holiday Celebration, faces you recognize and know, faces you recognize you pass in the station, but know not thy name. I encourage all to meet someone who is “new to you” and put a name to the face you pass in the hallways of the station.   Food, fun and a festive time is on the menu for our celebration as the camaraderie and spirit each of us bring will keep the evening alive.

I am confident the evening will naturally be without concerns or issues. However, if you or someone you observe is in distress and needs assistance, please seek help immediately from the Marriott staff, myself, and/or a manager from our company. Please do not attempt to handle a distress situation of your own or someone else’s alone.  The situation will be handled most efficiently by obtaining the proper assistance.  Finally, alternative transportation will be available to anyone who may be impaired from making a safe return trip home.

Take a step back and take a breather, at least until Monday, and enjoy the evening.

See you on Saturday night!

Tim Traylor