This Week In Pool Reports

This week’s Best of the White House Pool Reports. Proceed with caution.

  • “First, a clarification from Olaf Micheel, owner of the restaurant complex. Only one of the cooking animals was a boar. The others: a (male) deer and a doe.” — Finlay Lewis, Copley

  • “I said there was color in the pool report. I didn’t say I might be getting colorblind. The first lady’s press secretary assures me with characteristic good nature that FLOTUS is wearing a dark navy suit, not black attire as I reported. I stand corrected.” — Mark Silva, Chicago Tribune

  • “After some frantic searching, during which we saw that Direct TV had three different channels showing ‘Fun with Dick and Jane,’ the All Star game was located on TV and we watched a scoreless first inning, touching down at 9:21, a little bit after Vlad Guerrero launched a home run to the right field stands. We left the plane as David Wright evened the score with his homer in the bottom of the second.” — Stephen Dinan, Washington Times

  • “Both POTUS AND FLOTUS offer thanks, then POTUS thanks his guests for coming and says it’s time to go to bed. His immediate departure is temporarily delayed when one of the Special Olympic athletes commandeers the microphone to announce that it’s also the birthday of the Rascal Flatts lead singer, Gary LeVox, and he’d like an autograph.” — Jennifer Frey, Washington Post

  • “Your poolers joined a motorcade through the rush-hour streets of Chicago to Lou Mitchell’s, an 83-year old institution and, we are told, the creator of the donut hole. (This claim could not be independently verified, but has been referred to intelligence agencies for verification.) — David Sanger, New York Times

  • “The sky was cloudless, the air warm and mild, with seagulls circling overhead and making that gull-like sound of theirs which I can’t spell.” — Silva

  • And, of course, caviar.