THIS JUST IN: Wikileaks Founder Julian Assange to Speak at SXSW 2014

THIS JUST IN 2He is America’s second favorite soubrette of treason, because that’s admirable to hipsters.

To wit, Julian Assange is being rewarded with even more fame and notoriety for spilling America’s secrets on the Web — he is now a keynote presenter at one of the nation’s greatest gaggles of creatives, South by Southwest (SXSW).

If you want to hear how Edward Snowden got away with his royalty-free sedition, get your tickets fast because this dance card will fill up—and SXSW will collect the cash.

My question is…why?

Is watching Julian Assange the train wreck you hold up traffic to check out? And, is SXSW just holding traffic cones to draw your attention to said carnage because it’s good for ratings?

The anti-censorship activist will engage in this extremely rare public interview to discuss the pervasive spread of surveillance, advantages and abuses of the digital age, and the future of democracy.

wikileaksThat was SXSW’s direct response when asked essentially, “Why in the blue hell that guy?!” Kudos for the appearance this March, but really? Are his views on surveillance that high in demand, or is just because the media won’t shut up about Ed Snowden so SXSW had to get the next best thing?

Political hackery; NSA privacy rights; Americans’ right to keep “the man” out of our collective beeswax. Surely, these will all be topics that will come up. Even more surely, a barbarian horde of media folk will be there to tape every word.

Yeah, who am I kidding. I live in the Lone Star State and SXSW is only a four-hour drive. Think I’m missing this? I don’t know which is better: listening to this sinister big mouth or hearing the great Neil deGrasse Tyson talk over my head about astrophysical mumbo jumbo.

Keep Austin Weird, indeed.