THIS JUST IN: Keith Ablow, M.D. Says ‘Marriage Died in 2013’

THIS JUST IN 2Hey kids, those of you who are married. Some of you need to inform your spouse that you are officially divorced. G’head, give him or her a call. Pour a little liquor out on the curb. Notify the in-laws that you won’t be seeing them anymore.

Your marriage is over, at least that’s what FOX News medical correspondent and “A-Team” member, Keith Ablow, M.D., thinks. No word on if Mr. T is suing for trademark infringement or if Ablow is using all those gold chains to pick up the ladies on the FOX team, but marriage sucks.

His reasons are even better, after the jump…

By looking at Albow’s recent editorial on, he cites valid mockeries for marriage, like anything attached to a Kardashian, for the downfall and eradication of marriage interest in 2013. However, he also steers into the fray of controversy when he blames gay rights and “would-be polygamists.”

As I predicted, this will officially make marriage the Wild West, in which groups of people can assert that they are married and should have all the benefits of that status, including family health plans and the right to file taxes as married people.

It will also, eventually, lead to test cases in which a few unusual sisters and brothers insist that they can marry, because they are in love and promise not to procreate, but, instead, to use donor eggs or sperm. And, I predict, the courts will agree with them.

Um, I live in the “Wild West,” Keith and trust me, most folk down here don’t take kindly to that crap, as seen by the “NOBAMA” placards on pickup trucks and the occasional Stars and Bars draping living room windows in the sticks. Anywho, you were saying?

Only child support should be mandatory, because the state has a legitimate interest in ensuring that minors not be without financial resources. Marriage is over.

It was always at least a little funny that a huge percentage of people swore to stay together until death, then divorced and remarried.  But, now, it is, officially, judicially, a joke.  If two men can marry, and three men can marry, and five women and a man can marry, and three men and two women can marry, then marriage has no meaning.

That’s a shame. I was just getting good at this thing. GLAAD, your move.