TEAM TUCKER: Midterms? This Is The Real Battle


On Friday, Tucker Carlson included a segment on “the war of the political words over ‘Dancing with the Stars.'” Yes — there is a war, and according to Tucker, it reached a “fever pitch” after “political heavyweights are lining up to support” Tucker’s “bid for dancing immortality.” Willie Geist tells the full tale when you click below, complete with a Clay Aiken update.

    WILLIE GEIST: Now Tucker, the Rev. Al Sharpton’s letter of endorsement has inspired a flood of support for your campaign to become the next “Dancing with the Stars” champion. The latest to jump on the bandwagon, superstar political consultant James Carville. His official letter reads quote, “Dear Friends, I’m writing to tell you about a remarkable candidate in a very special nationwide election this month. I have spent more than half a century advising contenders for higher office. In that time I’ve seen the good, the bad and the merely forgettable. But we have never seen anyone like Tucker Carlson. We’re not saying that’s necessarily good, just that I’ve never seen anyone like him. Nevertheless, I’m asking you to vote for Tucker on “Dancing with the Stars”. Many people don’t know this, but Tucker’s political acumen is surpassed only by his mastery of the Cha Cha. His campaign has been attacked by special interests, vivified by the elite, dismissed by the chattering classes. My response? Three words: Dewey Defeats Truman. It can happen, but not without your help. Sincerely, James Carville.”

    Tucker, James Carville took a little known governor from Arkansas to the White House. Why not you to the top of the dancing world? James Carville, thank you.

    CARLSON: It can happen.

    GEIST: Tucker, as you know, it is the stated policy of this show not to negotiate with known terrorist organizations, but today, we make an exception for the Claymates. That is of course, Clay Aiken’s fan club. The Claymates were apparently not pleased with our coverage yesterday of Aiken’s appointment to a position in the Bush administration. In various chat rooms, members of that group blasted Tucker and me for our treatment of their hero. They seem the most angry that we showed this video of Aiken with his old hairstyle. God forbid. The Clay Nation has now vowed to vote against Tucker on “Dancing with the Stars.” Well here’s the olive branch Claymates. An updated photograph of Aiken with his more recent hair do. Now in return, I call on the leadership of Claymates to stop the jihad against Tucker. Let’s sit down at the table of reality show brotherhood and together vote to make Tucker the “Dancing with the Stars” champion.

    CARLSON: You know Willie under ordinary circumstances, I would say something caddy and snide about the Clay Nation, but as a reality show contestant, my job is to pander. So let me just say to all Clay Aiken fans out there, I’m sorry that I offended you. I hope you’ll take me back. I hope you’re on my side. Please vote for me on Tuesday night.

    GEIST: And Tucker, we should acknowledge that you and I both recognize our lives have been reduced to sucking up to Clay Aiken’s fan club.

As long as they recognize that…