Talk Like a Pirate Day? You Don’t Know From Pirates.

lafitte.jpgEvery journalist worth his/her mountain of student loan debt has had to come up with a clever feature for the holidays.

* What’s Father’s Day like for dead-beat dads?
* How many people kill themselves on Christmas?
* Who’s giving birth on Labor Day?

But the Jewish Journal has taken the holiday feature art form to a new level. By casting about for a Jewish take on International Talk Like a Pirate Day (which is today, matey), associate editor Adam Wills has succeeded in Jewifying a fake holiday — and writing one of the most interesting articles we’ve ever seen on the topic.

To wit:

Moses Cohen Henriques helped plan one of history’s largest heists against Spain. In 1628, Henriques set sail with Dutch West India Co. Admiral Piet Hein, whose own hatred of Spain was fueled by four years spent as a galley slave aboard a Spanish ship. Henriques and Hein boarded Spanish ships off Cuba and seized shipments of New World gold and silver worth in today’s dollars about the same as Disney’s total box office for Dead Man’s Chest.

Pirates Day, ahoy! Or maybe just “oy.”