Starbucks and USA Today to Finally Eradicate Racism

Our nation has been longing for this day.

Starbucks — the USA Today of coffee — and USA Today — the Starbucks of newspapers — are joining forces to finally end racism in America. Thanks to their unique partnership, our youth will be allowed to age in a nation without prejudice or bigotry.

It turns out that ending racism will be quite easy. Starbucks employees will pen the slogan “Race Together” on cups and discuss racially-charged issues with customers who will definitely enjoy that. USA Today will then publish a special supplement featuring the “Race Together” tagline.

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