Someone Get the Secret Service a Sponsor


Yes, that is a flask in my pocket. And I’m also glad to see you.

Without dropping any spoilers, we think we can now say that the most ridiculous scene in House of Cards‘ second season might have been a little more accurate than we first thought.

Today we learned that three Secret Service agents stationed in Amsterdam to prepare for President Obama’s coming visit were sent home after a night of heavy drinking; one agent was found “passed out in a hotel hallway” before staffers reported him the the U.S. embassy. Last night an agency spokesperson told media outlets that the three amigos had indeed been sent home for “disciplinary reasons.”

You may recall that this isn’t the first recent incident to damage the reputation of what is supposed to be one of the most disciplined groups around.

Spokespeople claimed the 2012 scandal in which more than a dozen agents were punished for drinking and visiting prostitutes in Colombia wasn’t “a systemic issue”, and the agency appointed its first female director in 2013 while ordering an extensive report to examine claims that its own culture involved an unacceptable amount of sexual harassment.

Less than a month before the report came out, however, two more agents were cut from the President’s security detail after incidents involving “sexually suggestive e-mails” sent to female subordinates and direct sexual harassment allegations.

The report found that incidents of sexual misconduct are isolated but noted that the Service “should continue to monitor and address excessive alcohol consumption and personal conduct within its workforce.”

Someone apparently didn’t get that message, and we think it safe to say that the Secret Service needs some help improving its image. We’d like to humbly suggest an NCIS-style procedural.

We’re also disappointed that these agents didn’t know this simple fact: when one visits Amsterdam for a little chemical overindulgence, alcohol is not the drug of choice.