Scandal Thursday: The SOTU, Booty Calls in Room 207 and the War of the Elliots

Some couples are hooking up. Others are stabbing each other.

When we left off last week, we had a Senator in the hospital and another who said she put him there for being a letch. That story line was put on hold this week so we could meet the Elliots, who take domestic discord to brand new heights.

Lisa Elliot, or the “Angel of Mesa” as she’s also known, is a national hero who is in a wheelchair after being hit in the spine during a mass school shooting. Her husband, James Elliot, is a military vet who was tortured by the Taliban. Together, America loves them. Behind the scenes they want to kill each other.

President Fitz wants them sitting in the gallery as he delivers the State of the Union address, which will focus on gun control. Press Sec Abby is pulling out her beautiful red hair because she needs b-roll of heroes in love to make this a successful SOTU. What’s a White House in tumult to do? Sounds like a case for Olivia Pope. #ItsHandled

Add to this, Mellie is still in her Uggs grieving the death of her son and questions about her mental state have started to arise. She’s also refusing to go to the SOTU, which is a necessary optic.

First, Cyrus goes to Mellie to try and convince her to go. He finds her on a balcony eating a plate of fried chicken and she says she doesn’t give a damn about anything related to the SOTU. And neither would we if we were chilling out on the balcony at the White House eating a plate of fried chicken. Though with the shoddy Secret Service protection we’ve seen recently…

Of course, Liv doesn’t really want to get involved with the White House all over again. But alas, she will, otherwise we won’t have a show.

So back to the warring Elliots, this conversation happened:

He says: “A wheelchair made you a star.”

She says: “You’re such a whiner.”

He says: “I was tortured by the Taliban. The Taliban is better than you.”

At one point she even stabs him with a corkscrew. (It was right after Huck got drunk and Quinn reminds him that he pulled out her teeth.)

Olivia suggests they get a divorce. “I’ll spin it for you,” she says, adding that she’ll get them their money from a book deal. Unless they want to be together in which case, “I wish you a long and miserable life.”

They agree ultimately to make an the trip from Mexico to DC to make the appearance. “Let’s go serve our country can’t we,” says Liv. Mission accomplished.

Then we’ve got Mellie’s situation, which got Cyrus in a tizzy.

“I’m concerned that everything I’ve devoted my soul to… will come crashing down on a 16-year-old’s grave,” he says. “But I’m never concerned that Olivia Pope will fail.” If only all PRs had got that vouch of confidence from their clients.

Abby ends up convincing the First Lady to put on her red dress and support her hubby.

“Children die Mrs. Grant,” she says. “Thousands of people out there watching have lost children… and they can’t sit around all day.

She ends with, “The First Family may be devastated, but they’re still thinking about the American people.” And then a flock of bald eagles flew by. JK.

So finally, it’s the SOTU and Liv comes face-to-face with Fitz. “Can Ms. Pope & I have the room?” Oh goodness, you’re thinking. But he needs to know what she thinks, from a PR perspective. And she reminds him that “no one is going to care about James and Lisa Elliot” if everyone knows that Mellie is still grieving.