Scandal Recap: Spinning Cyrus’ Relationship With A Hooker

Can Cy and Michael live happily ever after?

The phones are ringing in the middle of the night all across Washington. A tabloid has got its hands on photographic evidence that Cyrus’ boyfriend Michael was doing some major flirting in one of the city’s gay bars.

How do you solve a problem like Michael? According to Liv, you throw a White House wedding.

You’ll recall, Cy and Michael were pushed together into a “relationship” after it was revealed that Cy was paying for Michael’s services. Now, that more revelations have come to light, they have to take their relationship to the next logical step.

“You have to change the conversation to remind everyone that this is a love story. Something over the top. Something splashy,” Liv says. But Cy is afraid about the Tea Party response. He doesn’t want to put Fitz and the presidency in jeopardy. And he’s got a point. In Scandal as in life, gay marriage is a hard sell.

It seems tricky, but they’ve got a plan. First you have to get crazy-eyed Huck to talk with the bartender who saw Michael’s shenanigans at the bar and remind him that he didn’t see anything.

Then you have to get Mellie on board. We missed last week’s episode, the only episode in all of the seasons we haven’t seen (we’re going to watch this weekend), but it looks like FLOTUS is taking her Congressional aspirations to the next level. And one way to show that she’s different from her husband is to announce that she has evolved on her view of gay marriage and she’s going to host Cy’s nuptials herself. She can stand up for an “oppressed population.”

“Never regulated,” says Liv. Steal that line PRs.

Mellie’s campaign manager Lizzy Bear isn’t really keen on this idea and tries to confront Mellie about this. Note the word “tries.” Since we haven’t had an episode with Papa Pope recently, someone has to deliver the Shakespearian monologues that he’s known for. This week, it’s Mellie, who goes in for the diva-style read of the century.

This was us:

So the wedding is on and then we get a ghost from scandals past — former VP Sally Langston — throwing a monkey wrench in the works. She’s got her own Glenn Beck-style show where she’s calling out the administration for going along with all of this.

“We must arm ourselves America, not with guns, but with the truth,” says the woman who killed her in-the-closet husband and then covered it up. She offers a $10,000 reward for anyone with detail about the marriage being a ruse.

She finds a taker — some guy named Philip. Turns out Michael has a secret phone on which he’s been carrying on an affair with this Philip. And now he’s trying to take his story to Sally. It seems like all is lost. That is until Liv brings that whole “Sally killed her hubby who was actually gay” situation back to her attention. Then suddenly Philip cancels. Welp. Let’s call that situation fixed. Once again, thanks Olivia.

So the wedding is on. And who doesn’t love a wedding. But it isn’t exactly the thing that either Cy or Michael had in mind. Cy has been flashing back throughout the episode, remembering his first failed marriage to a woman (his “soulmate” despite the fact that he’s already having relationships with other men), which lasts 16 years. He was making his way up the political ladder until she just couldn’t take it anymore.

“I’ll admit I’m having an affair if you’ll admit you’re gay,” she tells him. “Being with you is a lonely experience.” Jaw drops. Well, OK then.