Afternoon Reading List 09.06.13.

Secretary of Botox: Does Sec. of State John Kerry look different to you? Has he done something to his hair? Maybe it’s his weight… You know, it kind of looks like he maybe squeezed in a terrible botox job while trying deal with this whole Syria “thing.” The Reliable Source at WaPo thinks it’s totally a possibility. Pols tweak their looks all the time, and Kerry is no stranger to having work done. In the 1970’s, they write, he had surgery to fix a “malocclusion” in his bite that coincidentally made him more handsome.

Why you should read this article: Maybe you were thinking about getting some work done, and thought, “Hey, what’s the worst that could happen?” Well, the answer to your question is that if it goes wrong, your lowered self-image may affect your work performance and indirectly cause World War III (depending on your job).

Assad’s propaganda feed: The Atlantic‘s Meghan Garber has an interesting story out about Syrian President (Internationally Renowned D–khead) Bashar al-Assad and his propagandizing instagram feed.  That’s right, there’s a genocidal madman out there posting selfies while he shouts YOLO as he gases civilians and children.

Why you should read this article: All joking and whimsical satire aside, this story is worth a read.  It illustrates the power of the internet and its ability to equalize propaganda through the use of a comments section on a despot’s instagram feed. It’s definitely worth checking out, if only to see the bizarre things Assad posts next week from a hole in the ground.

Mouthy AP Reporter rips a harsh burn on the Prez…


AP reporter wonders about administration body parts: Okay, maybe AP Reporter Matt Lee didn’t call the Obama administration pansies, but he did have enough chutzpah to ask the State Department if the Administration had their spinal cords surgically removed last weekend, and that’s pretty dang close. The HuffPost article has the video clip to prove that Lee is kind of a badass.

Why you should read this article: Because people should have heroes. I’m not saying Lee should be your hero for being snarky, I’m saying you should never be afraid to say what you really feel. If what you really feel is that the most powerful man in the world a big wuss, you’re an even bigger wuss if you don’t call him out about it. That’s how the media works in America.

27 inside jokes between media folk: BuzzFeed’s Jessica Misener’s take on 27 things that would make a brain surgeon say ‘I don’t get it,’ but get the typical DC media-head laughing and saying ‘Yeah, I totally do that pretty much every day.’

Why you should read this article: If you exhibit any 8 of these 27 symptoms, please consult your local congressman and ask his stance on campaign finance reform.  If you get him to admit to an affair, there’s a good chance you may have journalismitis, a treatable condition that affects adults in media-heavy areas, such as DC, New York, or LA. Oh, and FishbowlDC gets a mention in #12. That’s as good a reason as any to check it out.