Oh, sure, NOW you’re interested in Science

Vibrating atop MEL in a quivering, shuddering mass is an article from today’s New York Times Science section, addressing the hot-button issue of the female orgasm, complete with slightly creepy picture by Joseph Cornell (who, ironically, remained a virgin until his death).

The article discusses a new book which claims that the female orgasm has no evolutionary purpose (“The Case of the Female Orgasm: Bias in the Science of Evolution” by Dr. Elisabeth A. Lloyd). Lloyd argues that the female orgasmic capability is simply a vestigial artifact from the early weeks of embryonic development before male or female traits manifested either way (wow, that sentence was about as hot as that Joseph Cornell picture).

The article has all sorts of stats about how often women experience orgasm via sexual intercourse (25% “unassisted”), but forgot to mention that part about it happening when a man and a woman really love each other.

It also includes some conflicting opinions, one from a doctor by the name of – I kid you not – Dr. John Alcock (I guess Dr. Peter Johnson was unavailable). Dr. Alcock said (presumably with a swagger) that a woman might use orgasm “as an unconscious way to evaluate the quality of the male,” smirking confidently. Dr. Alcock and Dr. Lloyd argued passionately about it for a while, then started making out furiously.

Sorry, sorry, it’s all just so romantic. I’m pretty sure I made a mixtape about it at some point. In any case, go ahead and read it yourself, and learn, learn, about your body and/or how to please your partner. Seriously. 25% can definitely be improved on.

UPDATE: I do not know HOW I neglected to mention these distinguished experts: Dr. Ludwig Wildt and Dr. Randy Thornhill. You can’t make this stuff up.