Now Presenting the Gettysburg Address Sponsored by Bud Light

In today’s hyper-advertising-everything-with-a-modicum-of-real-estate world, marketers are finding novel reasons to get their brands in front of the consumer public. Be it reality shows to sporting events, newscasts to weather prognostications, it doesn’t matter. It’s a free-for-all.

And then there are historical anniversaries. You wouldn’t think those cherished and near sacrosanct events would be held to the same shilling standards, but alas, this is the 21st Century. Good times.

Meet the Bakersfield Condors, a minor league hockey team searching for ways to commemorate the Sesquicentennial of the beloved Gettysburg Address. It was four score and 70 years ago when President Lincoln read only 272 words to free the slaves and liberate a nation against its worst crime against humanity.

Fast-forward 150 years later and that prodigious event has been reduced to a night in minor league hockey…sponsored by Bud Light?! What the what?

On November 10, the Condors will host Gettysburg Address Jersey “Off Our Backs Night” — sporting some snazzy sweaters that honor Abraham Lincoln’s address (Yes, non-puckheads, they are not called jerseys).

In case you haven’t stumbled upon the irony, when I think of slave owners, I don’t envision pinkies-up, wine-swilling upper crust. I think of people who look like stunt doubles from “Duck Dynasty” with a lip full of tobacco, sporting a wifebeater and sipping on a longneck of…you guessed it…Bud Light.

Nice homage, Bakersfield. Here’s to all men created equally. Cheers.