NOT Harry and Louise

It’s time again for NOT Harry and Louise, the feature that helps Harry Jaffe and his wife, Louise answer questions from their advice column in Washingtonian magazine. Because, hell yes, they need help. So, here’s a recent question they received from Sister’s Safekeeper…

Dear Harry and Louise:

My sister is in a relationship with a married man who has two kids. He keeps promising to propose to her once he divorces the first love of his life. My sister is an accomplished specialist physician, but she is somehow infatuated with this bogus character. He’s a nobody with a rap sheet of killing a man while driving under the influence of alcohol. He never told her all the complications he had in his life until he ensured that she couldn’t do without him. I have tried my very best to talk her out of it, but she seems charmed by him. Bear in mind that his real life is going on normally with his wife and kids, which makes my sister his spare-time mistress.

Please help me find a way to break them up without hurting my sister, for she entrusted me with her heart, and I can’t support her, nor can I think of a way to keep him away.

Am I the only person thinking that they are starting to stage their questions? Has this not been the plot line for hundreds of movies? What’s next? Let me guess…

“Dear Harry and Louise, I am a protagonist loner who longs to find the love of my life. I have met someone who comes from a different way of life and culture than me. Will society ever accept us? Will our love endure the test of time despite those around us not giving us their blessing?”

Before we wade into the murky waters of relationship advice…

we always take a look at what Jaffe and his wife have to say about it. On this one, they’re split. Louise values the unbreakable bond of sisterhood that connects the two of you and suggests that you be supportive of whatever decision she makes. Harry, on the other hand, takes the scorched earth approach. Risk the relationship with your sister and spill the beans to the wife.

Here’s our advice. Stay out of it.  So what if her lover killed a guy drunk driving? Rick Sanchez did too and he’s turned out just fine. Most people don’t realize that Sanchez was involved in a drunken accident that took the life of a Florida man in 1991. After a Miami Dolphins game, a man was drunk driving and was hit by a Sanchez. Sanchez fled the scene of the crime. And when he reported BACK to the scene of the accident, he registered a blood-alcohol level that was higher than legal limit.

OK, so maybe that’s a bad example.

Remember this: Your sister is a grownup and you can’t make decisions for her. So butt out. If she wants to waste her life and her time dealing with a zero who will never treat her with the dignity that she has obviously worked so hard to obtain, then that’s her problem. However, if she’s into that sort of thing, she could always be a producer for MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell.