Daily Mail Chief Product Officer Mired in Canine Soap Opera

The case of Noah Szubski and Bernie the French bulldog vs. Chelsea Conrad and Cash the Doberman pinscher.

On Twitter, 32-year-old New York media exec Noah Szubski (pictured) comically boasts that he can “bench press the entire Internet, 25 times, without a spotter.” However, when it comes to spotting his beloved Doberman Cash, he has been forced to engage the services of an attorney.

There is much to chew on in Daily News reporter Barbara Rossaccount of what transpired in court today. Ignoring for now the fact that Robert Conrad, the father of Szbuski’s ex Chelsea, is in fact still alive, here are three of our takeaways from this four-legged custody battle:

1) Ross makes mention of some apartment particulars that are oh-so New York. Conrad says she showed her commitment to Cash by putting down a $15,000 dog-damage deposit at her new place; and that she could not bring home, overnight, the couple’s second formerly shared pet Bernie, a French bulldog, for fear of breaking a one-dog-max lease clause and losing her pad.

2) After the couple’s October break-up, Szubski’s dad allegedly sympathized with her, acknowledging in an email how “controlling” his son can be.

3) The Daily News headline writer is giving Cash too much credit by suggesting the dog is “in Hiding.” More accurately, Cash since mid-February is being hidden and likely has no idea why.

Next hearing: April 3.

Update (March 16):
Per Ross, Cash was temporarily returned to Szubski on Friday March 13.
[Image via: @noahrs]