Ask Piranhamous Anything

It’s Friday, which means it’s time for another installment of: “Ask Piranhamous Anything.” And we do mean anything. Send your queries to This isn’t an advice column — Piranhamous doesn’t know what the hell you should do with your life any more than you do — and worse, he doesn’t care. Try to keep your questions short — we want to keep this fun, simple, funny and insightful.

1. What if MSNBC decides to go with Megan McCain to fill the 3pm slot?

Can you fill a void with a void? I think science is against that being possible. MSNBC can’t have two hosts who can’t read a teleprompter, and they already have Al Sharpton, so it seems unlikely. While the network is a joke, I doubt highly they want to directly compete with Comedy Central, so there’s no way this happens. On the other hand, it would be viewing gold…for comedy, not ratings. America has proven time and again that we don’t care what Meghan McCain thinks about anything, which would make her a ratings natural for MSNBC, but even they aren’t that crazy.

2. What do you think of Chris Hayes’ new book, the Twilight of Elites: America After Meritocracy?

I, like the vast majority of Americans, tend not to think about Chris Hayes. His new book is the print version of “Up with Chris,” a relentless whining about how unfair everything is. I doubt highly Chris’ contract negotiations with MSNBC involved making sure he wasn’t paid significantly more than his show’s staff or that everyone got a raise and made as much as he did. In fact, I’d bet he has no idea how much his staff makes, and doesn’t care. I’m always annoyed by people who make a lot of money by complaining that people don’t make a lot of money, people who complain about the “unfairness of capitalism” while raking in the benefits of capitalism and calling for an end to it. You’d think someone who is successful through hard work would extol the virtues of hard work to get ahead, but in today’s unjustified high self-esteem society, where reward has been separated from actual accomplishment, I’m sure Chris will sell a lot of books. You’ll never go broke telling a bunch of unthinking losers they’re not failures because they didn’t take risks or bust their asses but because someone else or “the system” is screwing them over. It’s the Michael Moore business model and it makes people rich.

3. What do you think of all the calls for The Daily Caller‘s Neil Munro to be fired? You think he should be?

Was it rude? Sure. Was it the end of the world? Absolutely not. I thought asking questions was the media’s job? I could be wrong about that, you don’t see it much anymore, but when the President, any President, announces he’s bypassing Congress and changing the law on his own, the media’s job is to ask questions, not just take notes. The White House Press Corps is too content be stenographers or cheerleaders these days. I’d prefer they adopt the philosophy that every President is named Bush and act accordingly. They won’t, they can’t put aside the fact that they’re anxiously awaiting their absentee ballot so they can re-vote for Obama with all the joy Ralphie had waitng for his Little Orphan Annie decoder ring in A Christmas Story. That fact is bringing about the death of journalism, so it’s not surprise that someone would suffer some death throes and shout a question to a President not known for being questioned or being particularly good at answering them. Should he be fired? Hell no!