Mumbling: The new tabloid repellent

We’d like to share with you some delicious outtakes from the Suge Knight $107 million bankruptcy hearing, but sadly, none that were intelligible were captured:

“Testifying in a near mumble, Knight told a bankruptcy trustee that his incarceration handicapped the label that had topped the charts in the 1990s with artists such as Snoop Dogg and Tupac Shakur. Asked how he knew the company was struggling while he was behind bars, Knight answered, ‘The magazines told me that and the records,’ referring to releases by the label.”

Happily, though, this new tactic is in itself exciting news – at least for those celebs beset by legal woes.

“Mr. Spector, did you intend to kill Ms. Clarkson?”

“Umm. Mmrph sumpfin fruminlumph.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Fruminlumph.”

“Pardon? Come again?”

“Mmrph sumpfin fruminlumph?”

Yes, thanks to Suge, the wheels of justice are about to grind that much slower.