Mock Tech Guru Crowned Web King … and Queen

     When it comes to media scene naval gazing, Internet Week’s Webutante Ball, now in its third year, is a too-obvious target for abuse. Pegged as a gala for web celebs, the event featured as much documenting of the party—photogs, video cameras, photobooths, runways—as it did actual fun.

     Not to knock a charity event: This year’s Ball raised $50,000 for the Michael J. Fox Foundation, thanks in part to a matching donation from Google co-founder Sergey Brin.

     But it wouldn’t be the Internet without the requisite layers of irony—a prom! for adults!—and a heavy dose of snark. Webutante Ball organizers were hard-pressed to find an Internet King and Queen more ironic than last year’s winners: Kari Ferrell, the beard-loving, money-stealing “hipster grifter” made famous by Gawker, and Arthur Kade, a faux Internet misogynist. Which may explain why Alex Blagg, the comedian behind tech guru parody site, was crowned both king and queen.

      Blagg’s been called the Stephen Colbert of the Internet. Self-professed, he’s a “hot young veteran in the viral social landscape.” He started last year with the goal of sharing his “next-gen strat.” That’s short for strategy. In an interview, he refused to break character, proselytizing wildly (and hilariously) on the rigors of Internet fame. There is no tech bubble, he declared, evidenced by’s “worldwide brand equity valuation” in the neighborhood of $400 billion. “I’m rich as f***, I eat sushi like every night,” he said. “On Foursquare I’m the worldwide comptroller of sush.” No word on whether the site has actually earned him anything but attention. And (now) King of the Net.

     Where did a Los Angeles comedian learn all of those godawful Internet buzzwords?  “Where did Babe Ruth learn to hit home runs?” he said. “It’s just what I do. I’m also incredibly humble.”

     Among his upcoming projects is a new “micro-clogging” platform called Plungr, which has the goal of clogging up the Internet. “Bathroom is the new frontier of social sharing,” he said. Plungr will launch “in Q5.”

     Blagg will present his “cutting edge, paradigm-shifting, game-changing new theories for generating and distributing premium Internet material in an industrialized post-Content Farming world,” or something like that, on the AOL stage at the Internet Week Headquarters Thursday at 11:30.