Michael Simmons Offers Jann Wenner a Job

20050727jann.jpg

Michael Simmons, dubbed the Father of Country Punk by Creem back in the day, lets Rolling Stone and Jann Wenner have it with both barrels in the HuffPost. He’s been a reader since the inception, but is now pissed as hell:

I read your magazine occasionally, despite the airbrushed cover portraits of movie stars and Britney Spears, puerile reviews of puerile music and the cute, precious, pampered, overpaid, board-roomed and groomed product that pass as humans. We don’t need to know that an actor is eating garlic-parmesan Buffalo wings while she’s being interviewed. You once covered Woodstock, Altamont, and–with incisors bared–Watergate and the Fall of Nixon. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas first ran on your pages. You published the most poignant obituary of Frankie Lymon of Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers. I used to sit and re-read it because it was simultaneously devastating and thrilling.

And now, Simmons reads Arthur Magazine, where he’s a contributor, and offers Wenner some salvation:

I am publicly inviting you–Jann Wenner–to resign from Rolling Stone and come work at Arthur as a staffer. You’ll have to simplify your lifestyle, but we’ll find you a sweet little crib in Echo Park.

Simmons isn’t your everyday cranky rock lover. He’s the real deal. FBLA is wondering if he’s going to sell his back issues.