Mark Wahlberg Does Vitamins, Ground Beef

Today Edelman announced that Mark “Don’t Call Me Marky” Wahlberg, actor, producer and co-founder of an aspiring burger chain, will be the newest spokesman for GNC.

Wahlberg’s primary role will be to serve as the public face of MARKED™, a new line of “performance nutrition products” supposedly developed by “leading GNC scientists and wellness experts” in order to meet Mark’s own exacting standards for physical performance.

The Oscar-winning star of films like “The Fighter,” “Boogie Nights” and the Reese Witherspoon showcase “Fear” guarantees fans and fitness buffs that his line of multi-vitamins, powders, protein bars and other supplements will provide a needed edge to both dedicated athletes and weekend warriors who aspire to achieve their sky-high fitness goals.

Do-gooders will be glad to know that an undisclosed portion of all sales will benefit the nonprofit Mark Wahlberg Youth Foundation, an organization dedicated to helping troubled inner-city youths avoid the very descent into organized crime that forms the basis of so many Wahlberg movies.

This newly crowned spokesman isn’t only interested in protein powders and after-school programs: In related and somewhat contradictory news, the brothers Wahlberg (Mark, Donnie and odd-man-out Paul) recently hired former Panera Bread executive Rick Vanzura to “lead the expansion of Wahlburgers” from its Boston-area flagship location into New York City and other major urban markets. Wahlburgers, which opened in Hingham, Massachusetts in 2011, serves the usual red-meat-and-accessories lineup along with specialty items like The Melt — a bacon burger stuffed inside a grilled cheese sandwich — which appear on a menu blessed by such colorful product descriptions as “You’re gonna wanna adopt this puppy” (it’s a hot dog).

MARKED ™ is now available at and GNC stores nationwide, and interested parties can follow the product line on Twitter. No word on whether Wahlburgers will be sold at local GNC outlets or whether the chain’s frappes will come with complimentary protein supplements.