Man Buys House Next to Ex, Goes ‘Bird’ Watching

If ever there was an #HOAFail, this story from the Detroit Free Press (via the greatness of Gawker) would be it.

For apartment dwellers, HOA means “home owners association,” and the ne’er-do-wells who run these Gestapo units feel like they run your entire street with rules, regulations and guidelines on how to park your friggin’ car when it is raining outside. That’s important because I would like you to meet Alan Markovitz, 59, a Detroit strip club owner and obviously someone with way too much money on his hands.

Markovitz accrued his mishandled fortune opening strip joints along Detroit’s noted “8 Mile.” And yes, I’m still waiting on Eminem to rap about this fool, because he has ample reason. His ex-wife, Lea Tuohy, whom I’m certain is probably an …coughex-stripper… aspiring Internet entrepreneur or …coughshook her groove thang for money… real estate agent, lives in a posh area of Detroit called Bloomfield Hills. Tuohy’s daughter, Lenka, tweeted this gem, which has since been deleted.

Alan and Tiffany are the best neighbors but ew who does that lololol #psycho

That picture is Markovitz’s backyard. He moved next door to his ex-wife, and erected a $7,000, 12-foot-bronze middle finger facing her bedroom. And yes, it is spot-lit at night for a nice evening effect for the wayward boaters who stroll by as well.

And nary a word from the HOA. Who says living in gated communities takes the fun out of life?