Jonathan Ames: “I love you, Nicole Kidman!”

We, like lots of you out there (and certainly like this guy but not, we assume, for this reason), are fans of the Observer’s Choire Sicha. So when he tells us not to miss Jonathan Ames on the U.S. Open, we click through obediently.*

We don’t have George and Hilly this week, but Ames helpfully serves up a dose of therapy with his U.S. Open coverage (yes, goofy pun intended), remembering his childhood need for affirmation via tennis trophy and how that story speaks to the man he is today. He also waxes uniquely thoughtful on the following, in no particular order: Maria Sharpova’s armpits; Andy Rooney’s spine; the whispered promise of a transsexual prostitute; a genuinely touching moment with Richard Williams; men who wait too long to make the first move; the pale, imperious beauty of Nicole Kidman; the meaning of the word “Schiavone” in Italian (no word though on whether it also applies to “Schiavo” — many months ago, that might have been interesting); Mayor Bloomberg, perhaps the world’s first non-schvitzy Jew; Andre Agassi the competitor vs. Jonathan Ames the competitor; pretty doggies; pretty fountains; pretty tennis players; and the 2000 election, but not for long. It’s a classic Observer piece, reminiscent actually of that which got Sicha hired there in the first place. Now I want to hear more about Richard Williams, I must confess – the story behind an incredible American success story (and kind of a counterpoint to this). Otherwise, I agree: Four dates does seem kind of like a while. Step it up, tiger!

My Very Open Diary: Ogling Short Skirts On Ashe’s Blue Courts [NYO]

*We also like it when he gets political.