It’s Official: Michael Bloomberg is Bored

The man must be stopped

Michael Bloomberg — media mogul, former mayor, hater of large sodas — is officially bored. Since returning to Bloomberg LP, Bloomberg has conducted a series of changes that are at best nonsensical and at worst, have created a state of constant chaos among staffers. The man could use a hobby or three.

Bloomberg reinstated a policy of closely watching employees. He redesigned the sixth floor office space. And in the latest example of Bloomberg’s complete and utter boredom, he has added arrows to Bloomberg LP’s bathrooms so that the paper towel dispensers are more easily located. Oh, and when he’s not obsessing over all of that, he’s trying to buy The New York Times for the 185th time.

It’s quite clear that Bloomberg is in a tailspin. Here are some hobbies/activities that he might want to consider to pull himself out of it. You’re welcome, Bloomberg LP staffers.