“It was like Einstein teaching addition to a slow kid.”

tuckerbye.jpgIt was an uphill battle from the beginning for Team Tucker last night. Tucker and Elena found themselves last on the leaderboard with no one giving them much of a chance for survival to the next round. Tucker himself admitted that they weren’t likely to win based on the merits of their dancing. “Our campaign is not based on competence,” he said, adding that they were the “fun ticket.” He also quipped that, should they make it through to the next round, their routine would include “more actual dancing.”

The audience members didn’t offer much encouragement, either. “Tucker, it’s called ‘Dancing with the Stars,’ not ‘Sitting with the Stars.'” Perhaps the harshest comment came from actress Nicole Sullivan, who said “If there’s a God in Heaven, Tucker won’t be sitting in that chair next week.” Nicole Sullivan: You’re on notice. Then the judges piled on. “It wouldn’t be fair to Tucker to stay,” remarked the non-British guy. “He sat down half the time, when he stood up, it was road kill.”

tuckerby2.jpgThe only hope for Team Tucker was that the national audience would take pity and vote them ahead of one of the other couples. But alas, it was not to be. After an hour of replays and a couple of performances by Tom Jones, we learned the disappointing (though somehow not surprising) news that Team Tucker was indeed eliminated. Ever the gracious competitor, Tucker then threw his support to fellow talk show host Jerry Springer. He also remarked that he was going to miss Elena’s accent. “Besides my wife, she’s perhaps the most patient woman I’ve ever known.” When asked if he planned to continue dancing, Tucker said “Oh I’m not just going to slink back to journalism. I’m a changed man.” So perhaps we can expect to see Tucker gyrating around the salsa clubs in D.C. We can only hope. At the very least, Tucker: Come sing some karaoke.

Wonkette has the video here. Excuse us while we try to figure out what the hell we’re going to do with ourselves now…