Hoping SuChin Pak Notices Our John McEnroe Hand-Me-Downs

mcenroe_pants.jpgFishbowlNY correspondent Noah Davis reports:

Through a combination of mismatched waists and correctly aligned stars, we here at FishbowlNY came into possession of a pair of extremely nice Brooks Brothers’ pants originally intended to be worn by the one and only John McEnroe during the past summer’s U.S. Open. Given that we were headed to a swanky SoHo House to celebrate the 120th anniversary of the Trail Blazers, a charity for disadvantaged camp kids, we felt it only fitting to don these soft trousers and pray we fit in. Plus, our favorite MTV News anchor, the resplendant SuChin Pak, was hosting, so maybe she would notice our almost-famous pants.

But alas, we couldn’t bring a friend, so we stood in the corner, snagging hors d’oeuvres and pretending we worked for Overheard in New York. An elderly gentlemen in a lovely suit complained that “the crab was bad.” We disagreed; it tasted fine to our admittedly less-than-distinguished palate. We ambled over to the auction table in anticipation of bidding on nothing and picked up two Giants tickets. While examining the pair (on the 50-yard line!), a man approached and announced that he’d been eyeing them as well. We laughed and suggested we each pocket one and call it a day. He didn’t smile. Lesson learned: Don’t mess with white-haired men, their football games or their charity auctions.

After hitting up the Johnny Walker-sponsored bar and receiving the largest glass of Red Label on the rocks we’d ever seen (the bartender to us: “We are pouring heavily tonight. Cheers!”), we stood near the wall and looked vainly for people we knew. No luck. After a few minutes, however, a woman came over and introduced herself. She happened to be Susan Schulz, the editor of CosmoGIRL!. Funny how media types always find each other at these types of events. Perhaps it’s a pheromone thing. Or maybe it’s the deer in the headlights look.

Schultz was wonderful, regaling us with tales of past events, coaching us on love and apartment hunting, and helping pass the time until SuChin took center stage. Kurt Loder‘s significantly better looking half introduced some cute kiddies who gave testimonials about their experiences at Trail Blazers. She then turned the mic over to the auctioneer, who auctioned off wares including jewelry, those coveted Giants tix and four passes to TRL, won by Karen Duffy.

The auction ended and we slipped off into the night, armed with a goodie bag that included some much needed chocolate and season two of Entourage. What started as a lonely evening of downing J Walk turned into an excellent time courtesy of our new favorite new favorite teen magazine, a friendly bartender and some descent crab. Even if no one commented on our pants.