Hola From Politico’s Mike Allen’s Afrodisíaco Vacay in Buenos Aires, Argentina

Consider this Politico Mike Allen’s hike through the Appalachian Trail. Only it’s actually better than that because it’s weird and it’s real.

In this morning’s Playbook, Allen gives us a grande “Buenos Dias” from Buenos Aires, Argentina, where he’s vacationing with an undisclosed companion or more. Or it may the “royal us.” That part is vague. But what is clear, is that this is hardly a vacation despite him calling it a “real-deal” vacation. A “real-deal” vacation would be a) Checking out entirely b) Not writing Politico Playbook daily and c) Not responding to emails — however slowly and d) Not informing readers when he will return (that would be Sunday night).

Nonetheless, we’re ecstatic he checked in from Buenos Aires because there are real gems to be mined.

Let’s begin with the large and ominous steak knife at a restaurant in Isabel. But first, to get him in the proper mood, he passes by a local hot spot called “Te Mataté Ramirez” with the deck: El Restaurante Afrodisíaco. The first course begins with, of course, this huge knife. We’re not sure what the Sepia yellowish lighting is all about, but it’s already turning us on.

Moving on…who says Americans are rude when abroad? We love Allen’s description of the meal (italics emphasis, ours): “The single portion came as four meal-sized steaks. Included: a salad with a profusion of topping options, brought in fruit cups that filled the table, plus a quartet of sides, also in fruit cups — mashed potatoes, pureed pumpkin, warm apple sauce and itty-bitty onion rings.”

And then the grand finale: the humblebrag to end all humblebrags made complete with a jab to the kid’s mother.

“We handed our dinner rolls to a street kid who wandered through with his bruiser of a mom, and would have given him a steak but it was back in the kitchen for ‘un poco más’ – had come out more rare than medium.”

It’s the thought that counts, right?