‘Help, I’m Addicted to Kim Kardashian’s Game’

Signs this vapid app is ruining your life

Kim Kardashian’s game is starting to take its toll. People are crying for help on anonymous social networks like Whisper to confess their addiction to this mindless app.

The Kim Kardashian: Hollywood app, made by Glue Mobile, is making almost $2 million per week in virtual sales. And with advertising it could be a $200 million annual moneymaker. It has spent most of its time since launch among the top 5 downloaded games.

The app is simple: You just tap your way from a virtual nobody to a virtual A-List celebrity (still an actual nobody) by going to photo shoots, shopping and climbing the superficial rungs of Hollywood by going on dates and to parties. It’s like a "Choose Your Own Adventure" without any actual adventure, and it often involves you paying—up to $99—to accelerate your progress.

Making progress in the game has indeed become a full-blown obsession with some people. They’re proclaiming their compulsion in anonymous forums like Whisper, displaying all the stages of addiction from denial to acceptance. Some are even enablers—women dragging their boyfriends to join them.

Here are the signs you’re addicted:

At first, you just don’t get it.

The Kim kardashian game is stupid and boring idk how people play it

Sure, it’s stupid, but you can’t seem to resist.

I think the Kardashians are stupid ad hell and don't see why they are famous. But I am addicted to Kim's new game.

Addiction creeps in.

The Kim Kardashian game is my new addiction

Then your new addiction takes a sinister turn.

The Kim Kardashian game is slowly taking over my life! Send help.

You start pushing it on others and they’re now addicted.

When I told my straight boyfriend that I'm addicted to the Kim Kardashian game his first reaction was "not you too". I made him make an account so he could be my bf in the game too and now he's addicted and plays without me. He's on my level after a day

It starts interferring with those other activities that used to bring so much joy.

I think I'm addicted to that Kim Kardashian game.  I played it during sex :(

It’s getting in the way of your work.

I just did a happy dance at work because I made it to the A list in the Kim Kardashian Hollywood game.

Life itself has a little less joy.

I'm more invested in the Kim Kardashian game than in my real life

And just like that the will to live is gone.

Downloaded the Kim kardashian game. I've lost the will to live. Good-bye cruel world.