HBO’s Bill Maher Pushes His Way to the Edge

Profanity Count

Fuck: 45

Shit: 13

Cow shit: 1

Dog shit: 1

Bullshit: 5

Dick: 2

Balls: 1

P—y: 2

Ass: 6

Asshole: 5

C–k: 3

Pot. P—y. Palin. Religion. These were just some of the topics HBO comedian and “Real Time” host Bill Maher addressed before a crowd in Rockville, Md.

“We get two parties and one can’t be for pot?” Maher asked incredulously at the top of the show. Dressed in a watermelon-colored T-shirt and faded blue jeans, Maher’s hair was styled in his familiar slicked back blond-gray do. “Pot is the one issue that unites hillbillies and hippies.”

As the evening wore on he moved through the GOP candidates, President Obama and religion at a quick clip, moving on to sex, marriage, Cialis, ex-Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-N.Y.), ex-Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) and House Speaker John Boehner. “Contraception? I thought we already accepted that,” he said. “Presidential candidates talking about rubbers?”

On Obama: “Obama is half black and half white. I think the first term was the white term and now we’re going to get the black term.” The crowd roared with applause. Maher encouraged the President to change up his hairstyle. “Grow your hair out! That alone would accomplish a great deal. I would donate another million if you grow your hair out.”

On GOP hopeful Rick Santorum: “He’s more backed up than whatever highway is near here.” … “And I love the sweater vest. Let’s see, what should I be, the pedophile at a church picnic.”

On GOP hopeful Mitt Romney: “Most people know that Mitt Romney is Richie Rich Prick.”

On GOP hopeful Newt Gingrich: “There are actual newts that are less slimy than Newt.” Maher pointed out that Gingrich left his first and second wives who had cancer and multiple sclerosis. He asked, “How is it that when Newt fucks you, you get very very sick?”

On ex-Rep. Weiner: “This is a guy who has a sex scandal and doesn’t get any p—y. Really, not a blowjob from an intern or a tryst in a men’s bathroom?”

On Palin: “Who has better qualifications than Sarah Palin? She’s got a Facebook. She should be president.”

At one point during the religion portion of his material, he remarked on the Catholic Church and joked about the Pope wearing a dunce cap. He said, “I was never molested. It’s their loss, I was a cute kid.” He also went off on Mother Theresa and said that even she had a crisis of faith during her life. “This is like finding out that the colonel doesn’t eat the chicken!” Maher cracked.

On Fox News: “Outside the Fox News bubble are facts. You can actually measure shit.”

On suicide: Maher said he’s “pro-suicide” or “whatever clears the highway.”

Maher recalled a USA Today story on weather casters who doubted global warming. He said his weather caster was a “woman with big tits who used to be on Telemundo.”

At one point the audience moaned as Maher seemed to go too far. “Sorry,” he said laughing as he looked out into the subdued suburban crowd. “I don’t know where the edge is here.”

Note to Readers: FBDC’s Eddie Scarry was responsible for tracking the number of times Maher said “fuck.”