Happy Anniversary Mr. President — No Nookie For You

Cheap drugs, expensive gas, Lady Gaga tickets and the Year of the Baby. Here's the round-up of news highlighted in Conan O'Brien's monologue.

President and First Lady Michelle Obama celebrated their 21st wedding anniversary on Thursday. Well…celebrated is relative. According to White House Dossier, with the current government shutdown, plans for a “taxpayer funded romantic evening” was postponed. Last year the President wished his wife a happy anniversary from the debate with Mitt Romney. Tre romantique.

The US is also on track to replace Russia as the world’s largest producer of oil and natural gas, according to The Wall  Street Journal. Unfortunately, we can’t expect gas to get any cheaper in the near future. At least you can get cheap drugs. According to a recent study, cocaine, heroin and marijuana are cheaper — and stronger — than they’ve been in more than a decade.

The latest in the Grand Theft Auto franchise is a big hit, with more than $1 billion in sales in the first three days of its release. Analysts expect the game to outsell the book publishing industry and the global music industry as well.

This year Fun World Costumes thought it would be, well, fun to add an Osama Bin Laden costume to its catalog this year — and retailers were selling it. Under pressure from the Sikh community, retailers have pulled the costume from the shelves and Walmart issued an apology.

In other “what the heck were they thinking” news, two Naval officers were arrested on charges of bribery that involved according to Coco, “vacations, drugs and Lady Gaga tickets.” Who wants to join the Navy?

Chelsea Clinton told Glamour magazine in a recent interview that the recent loss of her grandmother forced her to reconsider her priorities. So she’s making 2014 The Year of the Baby. “Call my mother and tell her that,” she told Glamour. Bill Clinton followed with his own interview, saying the arrival of a baby could be a worthy distraction from Hillary Clinton’s potential run for President.

If you’re not done being distracted, check out the social media news feed for the latest on the Twitter IPO and Instagram Ads.