Gutfeld: Still really, really wants to be fired, has fun new friend to help him

Gutfeld: Still really, really wants to be fired, has fun new friend to help him

Oh, Greggie Gutfeld, shouting into the abyss that is the Huffington Post. Do your fellow Huffies even read you? Does Arianna? What is she thinking? I can’t believe the stuff you get away with. That said, who doesn’t love the First Amendment, right? Greg’s lately been matching his trademark contrarian posts (“No one sent me the email about it being ALL-CINDY FRIDAY, and now I feel like a wallflower at an orgy. A BIG FAT HAIRY WALLFLOWER”) with his Double Super Secret Blog, which mysteriously Arianna and the HuffPos have allowed to remain in his “author bio” slot. A sampling: “i know who could play cindy sheehan in the movie (called SHOWDOWN IN CRAWFORD): bob denver. no offense – it’s just the hat. the hat — all i see is the hat” and ” and – ouch:

I JUST LOOKED AT THE FRONT PAGE OF THE HUFFPO. REVOLTING. THIS CINDY SHEEHAN THING MAKES ME WANT TO PUKE. here’s what i would say to her: -your son enlisted in the armed forces. -Soldiers don’t choose the wars. They fight them. -Sometimes soldiers die, and it’s a terrible thing -We’re extremely sorry for your loss -You are being used by a bunch of politically motivated ghouls. Once they make their point, they will discard you. THAT’S HOW IT WORKS PEOPLE.

But it’s this one that I can’t believe didn’t get him kicked off HuffPo:

FLASH: VILE GHOUL GORE VIDAL IS STILL ALIVE! SEE Arianna’s opening lines on her latest post: ____ “My summer travels have come to an end with my journey to Ravello. I arrived in Amalfi with my two teenage daughters and took the winding road up to Ravello to visit Gore Vidal.” _____ THOSE MAY BE THE GREATEST OPENING SENTENCES I HAVE EVER READ IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. Granted, i don’t read much. but those lines pretty much sum up all that is relentlessly annoying about the Huffpost. Namedropping, self-importance, PLUS AN incredible lack of self-awareness. I MEAN, I MAY BE AN IDIOT, BUT AT LEAST I KNOW I AM AN IDIOT.

Even so, it’s true – that’s pretty blissfully ignorant of Arianna. But Greg, we don’t think you’re an idiot. We just think you are massively lacking a filter.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the blogosphere, Gutfeld has inspired his own unique brand of fan fiction with The Gaping Maw, lovingly written in the voice of Gutfeld’s flight attendant roommate Scott. Oh Greg, see? Once you get big, everyone wants a piece. Just ask Cindy Sheehan.

Recommended articles