Glenn Beck’s New Deals Site Has ‘Value and Values’

It's based on 'principles that transcend money'—but still wants your cash

Glenn Beck, who has always been a fan of making you richer, is getting into the deals game with an “exciting new business venture”: deals site Lest you think that Markdown is just another Groupon clone, Beck is making it clear that his daily deals site comes with a side of solid American morals. “Sure, we care about revenue and profit, but we care about honesty and integrity just as much,” the site explains. “We believe in value, but we also believe in values—the idea that we should be guided by a set of principles that transcends money.”

Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean that you can pay for your $20 in merchandise from with $10 worth of good vibes. After all, “small business owner” Glenn Beck needs to make a living somehow. (“I understand the daily challenges that entrepreneurs face and how frustrating it can be to get well-deserved attention for a great product,” he said in a statement. We almost pity the man.)

Best of all, Beck’s site won’t just offer discounts on “the best ice cream in America” or “a great summer beach read”—it will “only announce deals that they feel are a benefit to the consumer.” Hear that, other deals sites? Your days of selling unethical and physically harmful goods at huge markups are over! So while you're perfecting your Beck-like physique with $20 worth of chocolaty goodness, remember that each tasty bite is also a step toward true moral enlightenment.