Florida School Stops Providing Mountain Dew Shots Before Standardized Tests

mountain dripping dew

Bottoms up, kid! Your grades count on it.

Next up in “Jacked-up Standardized Testing” News, we go to Melbourne, Fla. HELLO!

According to a story broken by Brevard County’s News 13 and later covered by NPR, some parents questioned officials at Dr. W.J. Creel Elementary School after they found out that teachers made Mountain Dew “available to the students” before they took part in the Florida Comprehensive Assessments Test (FCAT).

Oh, and this practice to get elementary school children amped up for the big test has been happening for the past 10 years. 

We already brought you a bad PR standardized test story from Houston today, so what the hell, right?

The caffeine shot pep rally was discovered last week by a student’s grandmother Martha Thorp. (NOTE: Don’t jack with a lady’s grandkids.) It started when Thorp asked her 10-year-old granddaughter how she did on the FCAT.

mountain-dew-ad-3“She said every morning, they had Mountain Dew,” said Thorp. She and her fellow fourth graders were given the soda each day before they took the test. So, big mama called the principal of Creel Elementary and rose a little hell (Atta’ girl).

“To me, it’s a poor precedent,” Thorp said. “We’re setting for young children that they should be hyped up before a test.”

(Another NOTE: I have a feeling grandma here is only in her 50s. “Hyped”?)

Along with the shot of the Dew, about 3 tablespoons, students have also been given trail mix right before they take the FCAT. Thanks to Ms. Thorp’s witch hunt, we discover Creel Elementary has been doing this for a decade. Insert talking-head quote here:

“Once that was brought to our attention, we eliminated that practice,” Brevard Public Schools Spokeswoman Michelle Irwin said. “We’ve advised Creel Elementary to only provide water as a beverage.”

Creel Elementary School Principal Kathryn Eward started serving students Mountain Dew and trial mix about 10 years ago, after reading about its positive impacts in an education journal, Irwin said.

“She felt that it was a professional practice and implemented it,” Irwin said. “Since then, there’s been new information (about what’s best for students).”

No word on whether the superintendent of the Brevard County School District has implemented his best practice with a shoe in Eward’s behind kicking her out of the door, but stay tuned.

Maybe lighter heads will prevail…once the caffeine rush has run its course.