Eric Cartman is Armed to the Teeth in Afghanistan

“South Park” fans may remember the episode shortly after 9/11, where Eric Cartman goes to Afghanistan and kills Osama Bin Laden Loony Tunes-style with a stick of Acme dynamite. Well, perhaps you missed it — but employees of the much reviled private security force Blackwater seem to have been pretty fond of it. Senate hearings are currently underway to deal with Blackwater contractors who illegally stole weapons intended for Afghan security forces, and signed for them under the name “Eric Cartman.”

From The Atlantic:

The Blackwater contractors–who were not licensed to carry arms in the country–apparently operated under the company name Paravant to escape scrutiny. They seem to have secured the weapons by checking them out under the name “Eric Cartman,” which will be familiar to viewers of the cartoon show South Park.

The heavily armed contractors did a great job of demonstrating why they were barred from carrying guns, shooting two civilians and, at one point, another Blackwater contractor.

Meanwhile, the AP got a hold of a 2008 internal memo from a Blackwater Vice President that all but admitted guilt in the Cartman incident.

“I got sidearms for everyone … we have not yet received formal permission from the Army to carry weapons yet but I will take my chances.”

We here at FBLA know who’s responsible for this whole affair: South Park. Just like they caused Columbine. Depicting Eric Cartman in Afghanistan, hunting Osama Bin Laden, clearly warped Blackwater’s collective, fragile little minds. Forgive them Congress, they know not what they do.

H/T The Wrap