In case you missed the recent Earth-shattering revelation that Hello Kitty is not, in fact, a feline, here’s a brief update to put the below video and its furious, ranting star in context: Christine R. Yano, an anthropologist who is currently curating a Hello Kitty exhibit at the Japanese American National Museum in Los Angeles, was informed by Sanrio (Hello Kitty’s parent company) that despite her feline features and name, Ms. Kitty is, in fact, a member of the human race.
“I was corrected — very firmly,” she told the Los Angeles Times. “Hello Kitty is not a cat. She’s a cartoon character. She is a little girl. She is a friend. But she is not a cat.”
Once this news broke, social media rants circled the web, and general pandemonium ensued. Among the shocked, confused and disbelieving fans was this little girl, who, despite being visibly and audibly distraught, makes a pretty clear-cut case as to why she just isn’t buying it.
“She LOOKS like a CAT,” she sputters. “She is a cat that acts like a human, like usual cartoons!”
We hear, ya, Honey. It’s enough to send a person spiraling into existential crisis. Isn’t Goofy a dog? Isn’t Winnie The Pooh a bear? Isn’t Sebastian a crab? We don’t even know what to believe anymore.