Dumbass Pitches

Look at this dog! He’s chill as hell and about to chow down on some grubbage. But behind that mellow smile, that pooch may be in serious pain. One of the trends in veterinary medicine is giving your pets medicinal marijuana to help them with their ailments.

It sounds silly, but we actually got this Dumbass Pitch in our inbox. Certified Animal Behavior Consultant, Expert on Animal Behavior, Darlene Arden, is making herself available to talk about this “growing movement to give medical marijuana to pets in pain.” Don’t bogart that milkbone, bro.

What questions is this “expert” ready to discuss?

So, what are the benefits of giving your dog the ganja? According to this Dumbass Pitch, “Old or ailing pets who take cannabis usually experience an immediate boost in appetite and relief from pain. That lets them get around, relieve themselves without help, sleep better and enjoy their families until age or disease catches up.” In other words, pot makes them hungry and lazy just like humans. Man’s best friend, indeed.

Arden can talk about the future of pot use in pets and answers whether it’s a realistic option. I’m no expert on pets, but I have a feeling that a lot of stoner pet owners may start thinking their pets have come down with glaucoma.

Is it a good idea to give your animals some marijuana? Who knows? I’m not going to be the first one to try it. Besides, my dog is usually fall-down drunk and he hates mixing his highs.