‘Do Not Call If You Actually Want A Web Site; This Pay Is For No Web Site Only’

A freelancer gets a little fed up with the endless Craigslist ads asking for free work:

Sir or madam,

This offer is not good for me, I have a counter offer:

Need customer with lots of money to pay me to build web site: I will not build the web site, I just need you to pay me for doing it. Later, if you like the work I didn’t do, you can pay me more and I won’t build the next one either. This will make you feel real good because you will helping me out a lot, and I really like making people feel good.

Do not call if you actually want a website, this pay is for no web site only.

Here’s a 3 pronged cold slap in the face by reality.

1. If someone builds you a free web site to add to their portfolio, it will be crap, because if they could actually build you a good website for free, they can build a good website for other people for cash.

2. If you business means so little to you that you will not even pay to have a quality web site built, you are too stupid to be in business to begin with, so you will probably go broke.

3. We do not need another web site in our portfolio nearly as much as you need a good website for your business.

I once did a web site for a call girl. I built it for free, but at least she offered SOMETHING. You don’t even have the integrity of a whore.

illustration: hikingartist.com