Cover your Mass.: Captive audience wasn’t ready for “Brokeback”

Massachusetts’ largest prison is reprimanding a correctional officer for screening “Brokeback Mountain” before inmates, says the AP.

The Massachusetts Department of Correction said the c.o had not followed the standard procedure of not screening movies for “excessive violence, assaults on correctional staff, nudity or explicit sexual content.”

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“I want to make it clear, it wasn’t the subject matter – it was the graphic nature of the sexually explicit scenes,” a spokeswoman said Monday.

Right.

In response to the Commonwealth’s amazing insight, we can only offer the following exchange between bank robber Clive Owen and hostage negotiator Denzel Washington, culled from Spike Lee‘s newest flick, “Inside Man.”

Dalton Russell: Soon I’m gonna be sucking down pina coladas in a hot tub with six girls named ‘Amber’ and ‘Tiffany’.

Detective Keith Frazier: No, it’s more like in the shower with ‘Jamal ‘n Jesus.’ And that thing you’re sucking on? It’s not a pina colada!